There is no one true way to fulfill a role. Don’t let anyone police what or who you are. Like a $20 dollar bill that is folded in half, then wrinkled up and stuffed in a pocket, you still have the same value as you always did, yet you change shape over time. Even though it’s fun to figure out what you are called or identify with, ditch the labels and the meaning behind them and carve out YOUR way to be a top (or a sub).
Ken Melvoin-Berg and Danny “Delicious” Kelson team up to create a mouth watering (and other parts watering) aphrodisiac meal. Get all the recipes and dinner guest reviews.
Recently I was a guest on the SiriusXM radio show, On Air with Club CalExotics hosted by Sheena Metal. Three words: SO MUCH FUN!
Sheena and I talked about exploring kink and took questions from callers. We finished up the episode with my list of Top 10 Fetish Toys of 2013. These are must-have, classic items everyone should have in their naughty toolbox.
Just like Oprah has a list of her favorite products of the year, I have mine too. Only mine are a lot dirtier. Here are my favorite naughty things of 2013 . . .
I have a new favorite couples toy! Rather, WE have a new favorite couples toy. SQUEE! And go figure, it’s a vibrating cock ring. Not just ANY vibrating cock ring either but we’ll get to that later.
We would probably all differ a little in our answer to the question “What is a relationship for” but one thing we can probably all agree on is the idea that it needs to be fun. Fun is what happens between you and your partner when you put aside the problems in your life, in your world, maybe in your relationship itself, and “throw the old pigskin around” figuratively.
I came across this article today from Dan & Jennifer on how to tell if a woman is faking orgasm.
I hit full WTF mode at #6: “Her Clitoris Isn’t Sensitive Afterwards”
“This only lasts a few seconds, so make sure to ‘test’ her right after her orgasm. Touch her clitoris lightly after she’s climaxed and watch her reaction. If she’s totally cool with it, she faked. If she jerks back involuntarily and almost violently, her orgasm was real. If you were giving her oral sex, just keep licking for a few seconds longer than you need to and see what happens.”
If you’ve been on the giving end of a blow job, you’ve likely encountered the dreaded gag reflex. It can sneak up on you when you least expect it.
This month CalExotics sent me the Triple Motor Silicone Jack Rabbit to review. I was so happy when I opened the box! This was a no brainer! I absolutely LOVE this version of rabbit vibrator. Just a few months back I reviewed the Rechargeable Black Label Anniversary Edition Rabbit which has the same features as the triple motor version. The only difference between the two is one is rechargeable and the other takes batteries.
Wow, this is a great short film! It also has so many layers. On the surface it’s got a very indie/dark comedy feel. It also brings to light what many people exploring BDSM wrestle with: How to reconcile kink with your feminist beliefs.
It also touches on the importance of safewords and the sometimes murky waters of consent.
What’s better than one holiday contest? TWO holiday contests! You thought my Lovehoney & Sliquid Holiday Giveaway was it? Not a chance— check out what else you can win!
Ken & I will be in Milwaukee on December 1st teaching ZAP! Electric Play – TENS, Wands & More at The Tool Shed. To celebrate, Stockroom.com so graciously gave us TWO Neon Wand + Power Tripper gift packages to giveaway!
If you’ve watched Barbarella or Sleeper one too many times and have been anxiously awaiting the future of sci-fi sex robots and orgasm machines, your time is now. Today’s most exciting sex toys are using technology to push the boundaries of play, both alone and with a partner.
Inflatable anal toys are one of those mysterious adult products associated with fetishism and considered too “hardcore” for many people. In my experience more people will reach for a large butt plug over and expandable one. Are back-door inflatables really worth the hype or is this a novelty you should leave on the shelf? I personally think they are a wonderful invention worth consideration. This is why:
When I first looked at it I wasn’t expecting much. The shape was strange. The length and bulbous head suggest it’s a g-spot toy, however, I was skeptical because it seemed to lack the firmness needed to effectively stimulate the g-spot. I also automatically question anything that claims “extreme vibration.” I have a clit of steel. I need something just short of a jackhammer to get me off.
This is a touchy subject, but I don’t feel like having sex all the time anymore. Surprise! I’m getting older. Soon I will be 44 years of age. I am into alternate sexual practices; I’m in an open relationship, BDSM, and have multiple sexual partners. I should always be in the mood, right? Wrong!
As a sex educator, S&M dungeon owner (The Studio) and pleasure advocate involved in the BDSM lifestyle, I’ve had the pleasure of trying all sorts of interesting sex toys many folks don’t ever see. I’m also fortunate to be one of the people that tests, reviews and writes about new products as they come out.
Female condoms feel AMAZING! As someone with a vagina I can personally say using female condoms feels a bit more like sex without a condom. The male lovers I have used them with say they feel especially out of this world to a penis. Many men say it’s close to the sensation of bare-backing. Female condoms feel so natural because they warm up to the temperature of the wearers body. As an added bonus, when used for man/woman sex, the clitoris can be stimulated by the condoms outer ring and the tip of the penis stimulated by the inner ring.
This month the fine folks at California Exotics sent me a wireless remote controlled egg called Body & Soul Remote 1 to review. First of all, I love remote controlled sex toys for couples play. The first time I got one was as a birthday present a few years ago. My partner, Ken, had me open my gift right before […]
This was written by Wintersong and previously appeared on BarkingShaman.com. It specifically applies to safety issues around play that involves blood product, such as play-piercing and cutting play. Although this writing specifically applies to blood-play scenarios in a BDSM context, sexually active people from all walks of life can benefit from giving it a read. Please keep in mind, there may be different considerations regarding […]
When it comes to vanillas and kinksters there’s a real “us” and “them” attitude. It’s like the Sharks and the Jets (Yes, I’m showing my age . . . and my love for musicals. Quiet, or I’ll dance fight your ass.). If you’re one you can’t be the other. You should never let it be known you occasionally associate with the other side, right? Look how badly that turned out for Tony and Maria.
It’s also assumed if you’re on one side you think the other is less than worthy. Breaking it down to basic stereotypes, vanillas think kinksters are scary and weird. Kinksters think vanillas are unadventurous and boring.
Whenever I talk to people who have little to no experience in bondage, domination, sadism, submission, masochism, or the like, I ask them to imagine for me a couple. They are named Chris and Alex. First of all,
Just what is a Daddy Dom? Well, to start with, a Daddy Dom is first and foremost a Dom. He chooses the subcategory of “Daddy” within the lifestyle of dominance and submission (D/s). Let’s get one thing out of the way right at the beginning. A Daddy Dom does not
In the video above Ken and I discuss some of the techniques from these prostate milking instructional videos we tried. They were a great success! We encountered some things we didn’t expect (most of them good!) and prostate massage is something we’ve since incorporated on a regular basis in our lovemaking. Recapping some of the points we covered in our […]
Before I used the Lia ® Pleasers™ Pleaser 1, I was intrigued by the vibration options. It offers 10 different settings/pulses. It’s also waterproof and made from silicone, which are two big pluses in my book. When I first turned on the toy it was loud. Really loud. The noise is a definite drawback of the Lia Pleaser 1. […]
Over the next month or so I’ll be focusing on subjects relating to non-monogamy. I’ll answer many questions for you— from defining lexicon (what’s Poly vs. Open Relationship vs. Mono/Poly, etc) to walking you through the how-to’s (how to approach someone for a threesome, how to ask your partner for an open relationship, etc.) and everywhere in between.This series of […]
Everyone’s jumping on the BSDM/50 Shades bandwagon. Every other internet news source claims to have the secret to creating the perfect 50 Shades experience but few provide accuracy or substance. CaféMom/The Stir’s “Women Who Want ’50 Shades of Grey’ Sex Can’t Always Be on Top” is the latest in a string of blog posts giving women horrible advice about how […]
Our BDSM 101: 50 Shades of Taboo class last night at Taboo Tabou was AWESOME! Thanks to everyone who came out! The turnout was wonderful and I’m already receiving all sorts of private notes from attendees thanking Ken and I for teaching the class. BDSM is a complicated subject and 2 hour class is barely enough to cover the basics—the […]
I’m giving away a 50 Shades of Grey gift package! Are you dying to read the book that has everyone talking? It seems everyone has an opinion about it— now you can judge for yourself! This gift package is valued at over $65 and includes E.L. James’ book 50 Shades of Grey, a pair of chained tweezer style nipple clamps […]
Our parents and grandparents didn’t grow up learning about condoms in their high school and college health classes. After becoming single after loss of a spouse or divorce, many are hitting the dating pool for the first time in years. Contrary to popular belief, seniors have more interest in sex than we give them credit for. Thanks to erectile dysfunction […]
April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month. It’s a topic I am very passionate about. I devoted a lot of time this month to speaking and teaching about sexual consent. In my Sexual Consent Workshops we learn about consent in the context of various relationships like a hook-up, dating, marriage/domestic partnership, a swinging encounter or a BDSM scene. We’ve all heard […]