Category: Kink/BDSM
Shock Your Sex Life: Electrosex for Couples
Source: Jason Winter/Dreamstime.com

Think electric sex play is only for people who enjoy pain? Nothing could be further from the truth. Plenty of folks who consider themselves “vanilla” use electroerotic toys to painlessly titillate their partners or achieve hands-free orgasms. Wanna give it a try? Here’s what you need to know . . .

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Kinky Korner Web Series
BDSM Web Series

Did you know that as a CalExotics Expert Sexpert I make kinky educational and product videos? My web Series is called Kinky Korner. So far I have nearly 30 videos in this series in which I teach you kink basics and give you a peek at some of my favorite sexytime products.

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Review: The Shibari Wand Helped me Find the Secret to the Universe . . . in my Pants
Review: The Shibari Wand Helped me Find the Secret to the Universe . . . in my Pants

The vibrations of the Rechargeable Shibari Wand really make this sex toy work for me. I’m not sure of the exact specs or the science behind the mechanisms, but the Shibari Wand feels as if it’s vibrating at a different frequency than the Hitachi.

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“Down on your knees! Now, how may I serve you, bitch?” or Inverse Power Exchange for Beginners
Ken Melvoin-Berg in the Air Force

There is no one true way to fulfill a role. Don’t let anyone police what or who you are. Like a $20 dollar bill that is folded in half, then wrinkled up and stuffed in a pocket, you still have the same value as you always did, yet you change shape over time. Even though it’s fun to figure out what you are called or identify with, ditch the labels and the meaning behind them and carve out YOUR way to be a top (or a sub).

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Top 10 CalExotics Fetish Toys of 2013
Sunny Megatron Ball Gag

Recently I was a guest on the SiriusXM radio show, On Air with Club CalExotics hosted by Sheena Metal. Three words: SO MUCH FUN!

Sheena and I talked about exploring kink and took questions from callers. We finished up the episode with my list of Top 10 Fetish Toys of 2013. These are must-have, classic items everyone should have in their naughty toolbox.

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Sex & Mormonism: Homosexuality, BDSM, Magic Underpants & More
Sex & Mormonism: Homosexuality, BDSM, Magic Underpants & More

Whenever I hear about someone that is personally conservative or belongs to an orthodox sex negative religion, I want to know if they get freaky behind closed doors.

Do Mormons have sex on their periods? Do they give oral or anal sex? Do they practice BDSM and spank each other when nobody is looking? Do they do it with the lights on while choking their beloved and screwing up against a wall?

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Piss: A Short Film
Piss: A Short Film

Wow, this is a great short film! It also has so many layers. On the surface it’s got a very indie/dark comedy feel. It also brings to light what many people exploring BDSM wrestle with: How to reconcile kink with your feminist beliefs.

It also touches on the importance of safewords and the sometimes murky waters of consent.

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Inflating the Anal Hype – Truth or Bust?
Inflating the Anal Hype – Truth or Bust?

Inflatable anal toys are one of those mysterious adult products associated with fetishism and considered too “hardcore” for many people. In my experience more people will reach for a large butt plug over and expandable one. Are back-door inflatables really worth the hype or is this a novelty you should leave on the shelf? I personally think they are a wonderful invention worth consideration. This is why:

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50 Shades Of Grey Library Book Club a Success!
50 Shades Of Grey Library Book Club a Success!

Last night I hosted a 50 Shades of Grey Book Club at the Elmwood Park Public Library.  I’ve hosted other 50 Shades book clubs but this was my first at a public library. What a wonderful turn-out!  This was the largest book club audience the library had ever hosted!  I was very much taken aback by the diversity of the […]

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10 Sex Toys You’ve Probably Never Heard of But Should Own
10 Sex Toys You’ve Probably Never Heard of But Should Own

As a sex educator, S&M dungeon owner (The Studio) and pleasure advocate involved in the BDSM lifestyle, I’ve had the pleasure of trying all sorts of interesting sex toys many folks don’t ever see. I’m also fortunate to be one of the people that tests, reviews and writes about new products as they come out.

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Why I Don’t Try To Prevent HIV (and don’t think you should either)
Why I Don’t Try To Prevent HIV (and don’t think you should either)

This was written by Wintersong and previously appeared on BarkingShaman.com.  It specifically applies to safety issues around play that involves blood product, such as play-piercing and cutting play. Although this writing specifically applies to blood-play scenarios in a BDSM context, sexually active people from all walks of life can benefit from giving it a read.  Please keep in mind, there may be  different considerations regarding […]

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The Vanilla vs. Kink Crossover
The Vanilla vs. Kink Crossover

When it comes to vanillas and kinksters there’s a real “us” and “them” attitude. It’s like the Sharks and the Jets (Yes, I’m showing my age . . . and my love for musicals. Quiet, or I’ll dance fight your ass.). If you’re one you can’t be the other. You should never let it be known you occasionally associate with the other side, right? Look how badly that turned out for Tony and Maria.

It’s also assumed if you’re on one side you think the other is less than worthy. Breaking it down to basic stereotypes, vanillas think kinksters are scary and weird. Kinksters think vanillas are unadventurous and boring.

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The Low-Down on Ben Wa Balls + Eclipse Kegel Exerciser Review
The Low-Down on Ben Wa Balls + Eclipse Kegel Exerciser Review

Ben Wa balls, also known as Kegel exercisers, are all the rage.  We’ve known for over 1,500 years using them leads to improved vaginal health, better sex and stronger orgasms.  You’d think that would be enough to sell anyone.  But it wasn’t.  Aside from a surge in popularity in the 1970’s, Kegel exercisers largely remained unused and misunderstood.  As soon […]

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Rules, Roleplays & Rituals: How to Bring Kink into Your Bedroom
Rules, Roleplays & Rituals: How to Bring Kink into Your Bedroom

Whenever I talk to people who have little to no experience in bondage, domination, sadism, submission, masochism, or the like, I ask them to imagine for me a couple. They are named Chris and Alex. First of all,

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7 Fundamental Characteristics of A Daddy Dominant
7 Fundamental Characteristics of A Daddy Dominant

Just what is a Daddy Dom? Well, to start with, a Daddy Dom is first and foremost a Dom. He chooses the subcategory of “Daddy” within the lifestyle of dominance and submission (D/s). Let’s get one thing out of the way right at the beginning. A Daddy Dom does not

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Teaching an Old Dog New Tricks: 30 Days of Polyamory
Teaching an Old Dog New Tricks: 30 Days of Polyamory

Over the next month or so I’ll be focusing on subjects relating to non-monogamy.  I’ll answer many questions for you— from defining lexicon (what’s Poly vs. Open Relationship vs. Mono/Poly, etc) to walking you through the how-to’s (how to approach someone for a threesome, how to ask your partner for an open relationship, etc.) and everywhere in between.This series of […]

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Trading Power for Pleasure? Popular Blogs Giving Horrible Advice to Kink Curious Women
Trading Power for Pleasure? Popular Blogs Giving Horrible Advice to Kink Curious Women

Everyone’s jumping on the BSDM/50 Shades bandwagon. Every other internet news source claims to have the secret to creating the perfect 50 Shades experience but few provide accuracy or substance.  CaféMom/The Stir’s “Women Who Want ’50 Shades of Grey’ Sex Can’t Always Be on Top” is the latest in a string of blog posts giving women horrible advice about how […]

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I Don’t Like You Much, Christian Grey
I Don’t Like You Much, Christian Grey

A few days ago, one of the local radio news stations interviewed us for their “50 shades of Grey” series. I was interested in talking about the book. One way or the other it’s an important book right now. It’s on paper, it’s got a cardboard cover, it’s written with an incessant and continual internal dialogue that makes you want to stick needles in your face, it’s on the bestseller list.

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You want more S&M classes? Get ready for BDSM 201: Dungeons for Beginners!
You want more S&M classes?  Get ready for BDSM 201: Dungeons for Beginners!

Our BDSM 101: 50 Shades of Taboo class last night at Taboo Tabou was AWESOME!  Thanks to everyone who came out! The turnout was wonderful and I’m already receiving all sorts of private notes from attendees thanking Ken and I for teaching the class. BDSM is a complicated subject and 2 hour class is barely enough to cover the basics—the […]

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Stop Hating on 50 Shades of Grey!
Stop Hating on 50 Shades of Grey!

  My fellow literary snobs, sex educators, kinksters & sex positive community members may be shocked to hear me say this: STOP HATING ON 50 SHADES OF GREY! Yep, you read that correctly.  I’m defending 50 Shades of Grey. Whether you have read the book or not, there are a few things we need to get out of the way.  First, lets […]

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10 Things to Read After 50 Shades of Grey
10 Things to Read After 50 Shades of Grey

Maybe you really enjoyed 50 Shades and you want to know what you could read next. Here are some options. All of these are written to subjectify the female player- to give her life and let her fantasy really guide the book. Even if she is the submissive- the object of affection and intrigue, use and abuse, she is the window through which the story is told.

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BDSM Without Sex?
BDSM Without Sex?

When we hear words like fetish, kink, BDSM or S&M we immediately think sex.

BDSM is an acronym many in the mainstream consider synonymous with S&M. Technically it stands for bondage & discipline (BD), dominance & submission (DS) and sadism & masochism (SM). In other words– whatever it is you like that’s kinky, whether on the giving or receiving end, is included in the all encompassing label of BDSM.

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50 Shades of Grey Gift Set Giveaway!
50 Shades of Grey Gift Set Giveaway!

I’m giving away a 50 Shades of Grey gift package! Are you dying to read the book that has everyone talking?  It seems everyone has an opinion about it— now you can judge for yourself! This gift package is valued at over $65 and includes E.L. James’ book 50 Shades of Grey, a pair of chained tweezer style nipple clamps […]

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Detroit’s Local 4 News Filming of BDSM Club Irresponsible Journalism
Detroit’s Local 4 News Filming of BDSM Club Irresponsible Journalism

I just learned Detroit’s Local 4 News planted someone at a local BDSM Dungeon party and will broadcast images of the guests captured on a hidden camera on tonight’s 11pm news.  The angle of the story is something to the effect of “OMG! Are there really crazy sex parties in our quiet suburban neighborhoods!?”  The story will also attempt to […]

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Ellen’s 50 Shades of Grey + Bonus S&M Barbara Walters
Ellen’s 50 Shades of Grey + Bonus S&M Barbara Walters

  As if we need another reason to love Ellen.  Ellen Reads from 50 Shades of Grey:     Is it wrong that I can’t get the image of Ellen topping Barbara Walters out of my head? And that I find it kind of hot (someone photoshop me that!)? You did hear Barbara practically came out as kinky on The View, right? […]

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Diary of a Sex Clown: Life Lessons from a Clown Fetishist
Diary of a Sex Clown: Life Lessons from a Clown Fetishist

Upon meeting a prospective partner in a coffee shop or at the corner bar, they often become “Coffee Shop Hottie” or “Corner Bar Dude” in casual conversation amongst friends. When I first met the love of my life, my best friend and I secretly referred to him as “The Sex Clown.”

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We’re Teaching an Electrosex Class in LA!
We’re Teaching an Electrosex Class in LA!

I’m making my way to L.A.once again to help out partner, Ken Melvoin-Berg, teach ZAP! Electric Toy Play on Saturday, February 18th, 2012 at Stockroom University! Ken and I are both electricity nuts! From violet wands, to neon wands, to TENS units  and more, we can’t get enough.  During this class we’ll take a look at and demonstrate a wide […]

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Off to Play in Sunny LA!
Off to Play in Sunny LA!

  Exciting news!  Ken Melvoin-Berg and I have a jam packed weekend head of us.  We’re going to sunny L.A.!  What are we going to be doing there, you ask?  Lots of sexy stuff! On Saturday April 9th , Ken and I are teaching a 3 hour extended Networking for Kinky People class at Stockroom University.  Stockroom.com makes the fucksaw […]

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